Divorce Advice - reasons for divorce - 11.

Gadgets are a great source of inspiration for all manner of gifts. The problem is a gadget for her brought by him will most probably be as unwanted as a gadget brought for him by her - if you see what I mean? Wives have a completely different perspective on what is a good gadget while most men love and adore technology gadgets even it it has no real use for them. The definition of a gadget is exactly that - after time it is of no real use and simply lingers in an unused drawer never to be seen again. Settlement of many a divorce dispute has centered around who gets what gadgets. I think a lot of this is essentially petty point scoring for our DWINKI type couples seeking a divorce who have failed at the first hurdle. Can couples be so petty at divorce dispute resolutions so as to argue over who get what gadget? In todays society yes of course they can & hopefully only maturity will cure this self destructive attitude.

Travel within any relationship can really open your perspective even if it is not completed together. For me there are two types of travel that is healthy within any marriage. One is obviously shared travel - holidays, excursions, meeting friends etc. Shared experiences with ones partner is one of those rock solid foundation building stages that should happen throughout your lives together. The other is individual cheap travel where each person can express their own identity and character say amongst their own friends. Many couples engulf themselves within their own double entity & would never dream of allowing husband off the Prague for the weekend with his mates and visa versa if the wife enjoys keep fit weekends at a resort. Anybody who is unable to allow their partner independent travel outside their own sphere is really worrying. Marriage as a relationship is all about sharing, caring, trust and allowing personal development. If that personal development is stifled by lack of trust or worse emotional blackmail, then one partner will always resent and hate that attribute until their dying day. That holding back of how that person really feels may not always result in divorce or separation but inwardly held back resentment like this is a powerful destroyer of real love.

Sports is another area like travel that should allow for a combination of shared and separate activities for a fulfilled relationship. You do not have to be ultra sporty or even fit as there is a variety of sports or games that can be included. The object of sports is to participate for sharing of experiences (such as golf, tennis, bowles etc) and other specialist individual sports or games that suit your own niche area of interest - anything from bridge to Kung Fu. There is an old saying that families that play together stay together and I would say this is generally very true. Divorce can nearly always be avoided by channelling ones interest & emotions into positive experiences (just like training children) and this philosophy is relevant throughout our lifetimes. Idle hands make idle work.

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